關於孩子~的禮物

粉絲專頁備份

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小女兒上了大學,開始騎摩托車上學,剛開始她覺得可以擁有一台摩托車,是全世界最幸福的事,她喜歡騎車上學的日子~

但也不知道從什麼時候開始,騎車變成了她心裡很重的負擔,因為她總擔心著自己,會不會在一個不留意中,就害到了別人~她害怕在不知情的情況下成為肇事的人……心裡的擔心與害怕,成了揮之不去的陰影。

她把心裡的害怕,三不五時的向我訴說~即使我不斷的向她保證,事情不是她想像的那樣,她絕對不是馬路上的三寶,而且每個騎車的人,都有著自己的應變能力……每次說完她擔心的,聽完我保證的,她的心就安定了許多,但是她的擔心、害怕,仍然一再的來拜訪著她,讓她覺得心好累!

孩子覺得自己是個糟糕的人~因為她總帶給我許多的麻煩,她覺得自己是媽媽的麻煩精~我跟她說,妳現在確實是有點狀況,有點麻煩,雖然我每天都得聽妳講些愁雲慘霧的悲觀話,但是換個角度想,我只要花點時間聽聽妳、陪陪妳,妳就會又找到了一些力量,繼續的當個努力面對日子的人~總比妳連給我聽聽妳、陪陪妳的機會都沒有,然後就變成了酗酒、吸毒、亂搞男女關係……放棄自己~讓媽媽傷心不已的人,所以妳的麻煩其實也沒有那麼麻煩啦!

女兒每次脆弱時,就會覺得媽媽給她的包容、愛~十足的珍貴,這時候我就會聽到她很感性(其實是狗腿)的說~謝謝媽媽總是愛我,即使我很糟~我跟她說,也許就是因為我之前給妳的愛,不夠純粹、不夠感動到妳的心,所以妳才需要透過這些事件,來感覺到我給妳的愛吧!等到有一天,妳覺得夠了,滿足了,妳不再需要用這方式了,妳自然就會離開了現階段的妳~在那天到來之前,慢慢來,沒有關係!

女兒問我~她這樣是一種生病嗎?(她覺得自己是強迫症)我跟她說~這只是妳生命過程中當下的一種狀態~每個人不同階段,都會有不同的狀態,不必把這狀態過度放大,讓自己陷入害怕。就像人會遇到好事與壞事一樣,都是生命裡的正常,有時好事也不見得是真的好事,(例如:少年得志大不幸)有時壞事也未必是真的壞事~就是一顆平常的心去面對~遇到狀況,有時是上天送給你的禮物,只是在看清禮物的真相之前,總要忍受前期看不懂的混沌就是了。(但只要不放棄,努力的去經歷,就會有看清禮物真相的能力)

每個孩子出生時,有著自然而然的完美~任何阿貓、阿狗都能看見他們發光的樣子~但是隨著孩子長大,能不能看到孩子的美……就真的得耐住性子的蹲馬步…一步一步的練出點功夫了~有時面對教養的沮喪時,換個角度想,如果不是孩子的獨特,咱們哪能有機會練出點不一樣的功夫啊!

當母親~說辛苦,也辛苦,但在辛苦之中,總有著我們的收穫~孩子確實是個好禮物。

今天是聖誕節,祝福大家~聖誕節快樂!

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