用故事來陪伴孩子~也陪伴自己

粉絲專頁備份

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一位客人到書店來,她一進門就很乾脆的請我幫忙她找書~她到書店前的10分鐘有先電話預約,反正她應該有用她的方式先稍稍認識了一下小書蟲,所以我們的緣份就搭上線了。

通常客人請我幫她推薦,我會先用我的方式稍稍先身家調查一下,總要搞清楚孩子是啥模樣,從大人的講話中,也先用心讀一下對方,這是老天爺給我的一點小小能力(天賦),用在這時最是剛好。

那位客人很可愛、很坦誠,直白的把孩子的缺點(症頭)豪邁的講給我聽~愛跟妹妹吵架、在學校有點懦弱,感覺老是被欺侮、遇到事情動不動就哭,常被爸爸嫌不像個男生……媽媽把我當個熟悉的朋友,沒啥隱藏,但從媽媽講話的口氣也可以感覺出,她是個凡事速戰速決、很理性的人,她大概是想,趕快把孩子的症狀講一講,我就能從書櫃裡找出對症下藥的故事,然後她就能回家整治一下孩子了~

說實在的,她一時之間丟給我那麼多問題,我還真有點反應不太過來,我是挺努力聽她講,腦袋裡也是拼了命的轉啊轉,不過還是覺得這其中怪怪的~所以我就放慢了點速度,淡淡的、笑笑的對她說:「其實孩子會這樣,應該就是陪伴不夠啦!妳們要多多陪伴他啊!當他的心裡有感受到大人對他的愛,情況就會不一樣了。」

我講那些話的目的,其實是要先停頓且緩和一下媽媽,因為才5.6歲的孩子,正是很可愛的時期,怎麼媽媽眼中看見的,都是不太好的點~~就在我講完話的時候,突然冒出一個男人的聲音,原來是她先生,她老公本來在書櫃的另一頭,不知何時竟聽了我們的對話且跳出來說了句 ~「對!老闆她說的對極了,妳真的太少陪伴孩子了……」「哇!這位爸爸,您也太不給老婆面子了喲!」我心裡面的OS。

那位爸爸開完這一槍就跑了,我笑了笑對媽媽說:「妳家老公很勁爆吔!」她說:「對,就是這樣~我家哥哥老是被他嫌,其實想一想,孩子也挺可憐的…」

沒錯!沒有孩子是天生的壞蛋,有時他們的壞或糟,是大人〞成就〞出來的,當然,也沒有父母會希望自己是造就出壞孩子的人,只是有時因著太忙亂,而忘了去思考到不同的面相,和那位客人的對話,也從她說出「孩子其實也挺可憐」的這句話後,而開始朝著更溫柔且溫暖的思考方向前進,我跟她說~孩子有狀況,需要的是我們的幫忙,而不是我們對他的嫌棄,嫌棄帶著負面的能量,如果我一直嫌棄妳,妳的心裡也一定不會好受呢!

後來我又打探了一下她的工作(科技業),了解為何在她身上少了點感性的元素,生命不是數學題,就算套了公式,也不是按照正確步驟就能順利得到自己想要的答案,也還好生命不是數學題,不然就太死板、太無趣了呢!

那天那位客人,帶著愉悅的好心情,把我從書架上為她和孩子拿出來的每一本書都帶回去了,她說:「我覺得自己好像得到了很多能量,也看見了更多美好的希望,我之前確實太、太、太忽略孩子了,我也從沒想過他的心裡在想什麼,我下班回家後,總希望孩子能早點乖乖去睡覺,不過我現在知道了,我可以為他們多講一些故事,我會回家認真說故事的~謝謝妳呢!」

其實陪伴真的很重要~那一天,我也沒做什麼,就是陪伴了一位心裡帶著點烏雲的母親,我聽她說話,順便講了一些我在書店裡收集的真實故事給她聽,然後她就真的變不一樣了~成為父母,其實也是跟孩子一樣,必須一路跌跌撞撞的學習,做錯了就反省,但不必太自責或害羞,就是知道父母其實也是個孩子,所以拿給客人的故事,除了是陪伴孩子,也兼具了陪伴大人的任務呢!

正苦惱於孩子嗎?找本書,找個故事,陪伴一下自己吧!因為大人的心對了,孩子的問題也會自動煙消雲散了呢!

(日文) (附中文翻譯)

https://www.kidsbook.com.tw/books/view_book.asp?id=1296

https://bit.ly/酒井駒子繪本

https://bit.ly/憨憨熊繪本

https://bit.ly/林明子繪本部落格

#好書是心靈的美好養份

#好書需要大家的真實支持

#好書絕版的情況愈來愈嚴重了

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